From: Nikolay Shulga 
To: Dennette 
Subject: FW: Klingon programmers
Date: Thu, 24 Jun 1999 10:50:34 -0400

You just might enjoy this.

Cheers,
NS

> -----Original Message-----
> From:	Jim Finkel 
> Sent:	Thursday, June 24, 1999 10:48 AM
> To:	Nikolay Shulga
> Subject:	Klingon programmers
> 
> Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer:
> 
> 12) "Specifications are for the weak and timid!"
> 
> 11) "This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I
> am to do battle with this code!"
> 
> 10) "You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the
> original Klingon."
> 
> 9) "Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your
> skull!"
> 
> 8) "What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software
> 'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and
> quality assurance people in it's wake."
> 
> 7) "Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have
> 'arguments' -- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM."
> 
> 6) "Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the
> weak."
> 
> 5) "I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth
> contest. They will not concern us again."
> 
> 4) "A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!"
> 
> 3) "By filing this TR you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare
> to die!"
> 
> 2) "You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you
> stand!"
> 
> 1) "Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship
> it and let them flee like the dogs they are!"
> 
> 
> Jim Finkel
> Documentation Engineer, MEBG
> Model Engineering Business Group